Five signs you and your partner should seek a couples sex therapist
Fear keeps us from doing so many things that can improve our lives — even simple things, like calling a therapist. And fear of the unknown is a big reason a lot of people avoid seeking couples sex therapy.
Couples sex therapy is talk therapy. There is no physical contact between the therapist and the client or clients.
We’ve already discussed WHY many couples never reach out to a trained sex therapist for help. It almost always has to do with fear of judgement. A trained sex therapist will never judge you. In fact, you should know that most experienced therapists have treated many couples just like you, experiencing the most common and treatable sexual problems.
The most common triggers for couples sex therapy:
- Diminished sexual desire
- Poor sexual performance
- Painful intercourse
- Excessive masturbation
- Problems with pornography
- Infrequent sex
- Unsatisfying sex
Even if you and your partner are not experiencing anything on the short list above, you’re probably wondering when you should reach for help. Here’s a list of warning signs that might mean you need an experienced couples sex therapist:
The five signs you and your partner need couples sex therapy:
You can’t talk about sex with each other because it’s too uncomfortable to discuss
An experienced sex therapist will facilitate communication between you and your partner, making it a lot easier to get the words out. If you and your partner have difficulty talking about sex, a sex therapist will definitely fix that issue.
You don’t desire each other anymore but want to regain the passion you once had.
An experienced sex therapist understands the ups and downs in relationships. Communicating with your partner and identifying what’s causing the drop-off in passion is something that a counselor who specializes in couples sex therapy can address and treat.
There’s a persistent problem during sex, such as a loss of an erection, difficulty having an orgasm, or pain/discomfort during the act of intercourse
A licensed, trained sex therapist is aware of the physical and emotional causes of sexual problems and how to identify their source.
You argue about how often you want sex or one partner has a higher desire than the other and you fight about it or sulk or maybe you just give in to the pressure.
A sex therapist is, first, a mental health counselor, trained in the science of human behavior, conflict resolution and, most important, effective communication. The way you and your partner communicate when you disagree can be changed. Help is available.
Does one or both of you experience anxiety around being sexual? That anxiety may come from performance fear such as erectile dysfunction, expectation of pain, or it may be a non-specific anxiety such as a fear of not measuring up, or an anticipation of disappointment.
Just the expectation of a painful or disappointing experience can be enough to significantly affect the quality and frequency of a couple’s intimacy. A trained, experienced couples sex therapist can help you understand the source of the anxiety, address it, and significantly improve your intimacy.
Does any of this sound familiar? If so, help is just a phone call away. Amy Howard is an experienced and licensed couples sex therapist serving couples and individuals in the Atlanta area.
Schedule your free phone consultation today.