An Atlanta Sex Therapist Explains how to approach sex over 50.
I’ve worked with many individuals and couples who are well into their 50s and 60s. Here are five observations I’ve made about sex and aging.
1. Advances in medicine and therapy can significantly improve men’s sex over 50.
Men in their 50s regularly report experiences of difficulty getting or maintaining an erection. And oftentimes their experience with orgasm and ejaculation isn’t what it was when they were younger.
Prescription medications such as Cialis, Viagra, and Levitra can help increase blood flow and can provide a better erection, but the medications aren’t a magic pill and if there’s an underlying relational or emotional concern, those medications will likely be ineffective.
2. Women’s sexual changes can be anticipated and planned-for.
As women near menopause, their estrogen levels decrease, which can cause vaginal dryness and decreased sexual arousal.
Though women who are menopausal may enjoy sex without the worry of getting pregnant, the bodily changes that menopause brings (hot flashes, sweating, mood changes, weight gain and slowed metabolism) may cause women to feel less sexually desirable.
3. Mobility problems and sex can be addressed.
Aging is often accompanied by illness and an increased use in medications which often have side effects.
Instead of allowing these changes, those that are expected and those that seem to come out of left field, to put a stop to your sexual relationship, couples who thrive use it as an opportunity for growth.
Doing what you’ve always done together may not “get the job done” anymore. So it’s time to forge a new path, try something different, shift positions, and deepen the dialogue with each other.
4. Sex over 50 is not a win/lose game.
Instead of focusing solely on orgasm, sexually healthy couples aim for giving and receiving pleasurable touch. This takes the pass/fail aspect out of the encounter and allows couples to focus on what feels good.
5. Staying active is your best defense for great sex over 50.
Use it or lose it. Overall health and wellness affect one’s sexual health. Sometimes couples take a break from sex for any number of reasons for months or years and it can feel awkward or even physically painful to resume being sexual.
Keep the long-game in mind and remember that sex in a relationship is paradoxical. If things are going well in the relationship, sex counts for about 10 percent of that. But if things aren’t going well in the relationship, the negative impact of bad sex or no sex is much greater.
Each age presents its own challenges and opportunities. When we’re young, most of us have our health, but we lack experience. In maturity, our bodies present challenges that can be overcome by our ability to solve problems and communicate
Experiencing problems with sex over 50, I’ve helped many individuals and couples just like you. Contact me for a free initial phone session.